


More Like You

by PumpkinPatch



Category: Happy Tree Friends
Genre: Comedy, Oneshot, Screenplay/Script Format, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-17
Updated: 2018-11-17
Packaged: 2019-08-24 18:19:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16645394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PumpkinPatch/pseuds/PumpkinPatch
Summary: Oct 4, 2010. While trying to collect data, Sniffles acquires Lumpy's company, under the solitude between them, he realizes a bit more about the moose than anyone will ever likely believe. Not that he'd ever tell anyone.Moose survived through the ice age somehow, right?One of the ones I liked more.





	More Like You

Background info on this: Lumpy is helping Sniffles at the lab, while Sniffles is doing research on the effects separating Flippy and Evil has had, Flippy runs into a private room. Minutes later, Evil Flippy busts in, startling Sniffles out of sight, and then finds where Flippy's been hiding and locks them both in the room. The two then begin having sex.

Lumpy: Flippy keeps saying yes, so why is Evil still moaning and growling at him like that? *Confused expression as he looks away from the door and to Sniffles*

Sniffles: *Red-faced and lowering his head in shock* Uh, nothing to ruin your innocent mind, Lumpy.

Lumpy: But why is he saying yes over and over, Evil already has his answer!

Sniffles: *Wide-eyed and sweating* They-they're uh, um. Playing a game, yeah, they're playing a game. *The anteater gives him his best smile*

Lumpy: Ooh, can I go play too?!

Sniffles: *Turning pink* NO! No, only they can play. 

Lumpy: Aww, then you play with me like that!

Sniffles : I-I- *Hits his head on the desk and accidentally gets a nosebleed*

Lumpy: *Eyes stop being crossed as he suddenly focuses on the hurt anteater* What's wrong, Sniffles?

Sniffles: *Pulls out a napkin and applies pressure to the bleeding* Nothing, Lumpy, forget about it. *Face is turning purple from blushing so hard*

Lumpy: *Nods head dumbly* Soo. . . are you going to plaaaayyy with mee?!

Sniffles: No Lumpy, you're not, uh... " mature enough" to play that game.

Lumpy: Oh, well how do I get mature faster?

Sniffles: Uh, you... *Sees a book, picks it up and passes it across the table to him* Read this novel and memorize it! _That will keep him busy._ *Hopeful*

Lumpy: But, but it has bigzy wordehs!

Sniffles: Exactly. If you cant read it then I guess you're not mature enough.

Lumpy: Can't you get me a book with pictures like. . . *Picks up Grey's Anatomy* This one! *Starts looking at the book*

Sniffles :*Face getting even more purple* No, Lumpy!!! *He snatches the book away* I'll pick a book with pictures, just NEVER read this, okay?

Lumpy: But I wanted to see the pretty pictures! *Snatches the book, then drops it and it opens to a page with a *insert naughty part here* on it*

Lumpy: Whhhyyy not?! What was that picture of, it looked weird. . .

Sniffles: It was uh... A mature person wouldn't ask anymore questions on this book, are you mature, Lumpy?

Lumpy: Yessss! Now, let's play!

Sniffles: No we're- I. AM- I'm *pushing his glasses up his nose and trying to compose himself* too busy.

Lumpy: Come on, uh, what were we going to play again? I know, let's play scrabble!

Sniffles:*Sighs* I'll go get the box.

Lumpy: Okay. *Waits until he's gone before flipping through the Gray's Anatomy book, giggling happily at all the "pwetty pictures"*

Sniffles: Okay, I'm back- *Sees Lumpy reading the book, he drops the game box* What did i tell you, Lumpy?!

Lumpy: I forgot . . .

Sniffles: *Sighs* It's okay. *Tries to look professional and calm* Look, I have the game. *He picks the box up and shakes it like it's dog treats hoping to get the moose's attention*

Lumpy: Okay! *Scans a few more pages before muttering something about "cerebral cortexes" and "Spanal vertebrate"*

Sniffles: Put that down, and help me set this game up.

Lumpy: Huh? Oh, sure thing, you know, the tibula is connected to the fibula, which makes up your arms, and the metacarpals are your finger bones?

Sniffles: Of course I do, Lumpy, I learned that when I was- Wait, you can pronounce those words?!?

Lumpy: Ehehehe, how do you think I survive without being killed so much, and why would I choose scrabble when I supposedly "can't spell" I'm so stupid. . . I'm smart. . .

Sniffles: So you've been pretending to be dumb? But why? *He tries to hide his shock and avoid pressing a record button on one of the devices nearby, curiosity overwhelming him*

Lumpy: Not pretending, *He winks twice* I AM dumb, to everyone else. It's sort of like how autistic people are called idiots by strangers, they're not stupid, they're just smart without others knowing it.

Sniffles: Oh, I see. 

*The silence lingers, both bears have long left, or if they're still there, they're silent. Lumpy looks out a window, eyes the reddening of the sky and realizes how long they've been talking. He gets up*

Lumpy: Yeah, you know, it was nice spending time with you. *He crosses his eyes and makes a weird hand gesture* Now, I've got to go be my stupid self and kill the townspeople, bye! *Starts walking towards the door* 

Sniffles: *Drops the board pieces he was setting up in a panic, jumping to his feet to shout* No, don't go!

Lumpy: *Looks back* Hum? 

Sniffles : Uh, wouldn't you rather stay for *he coughs on the last word* dinner?

Lumpy: Huh? Why?

Sniffles: Well, I usually eat alone and I sometimes cook too much for one so...would you?

Lumpy: *Tries to look impassible and dopey, but nods regardless as he does so* Sure.

Sniffles: Great!  I, uh, mean... I'll get us both some plates.

Lumpy: *Nods his head and fiddles around with different blueprints, he makes a few lines on them and then sets them aside*

Sniffles: Here. *he hands lumpy a plate, a fork and a cup* Hey, what are those blueprints for?

Lumpy: I dunno, they're some of yours, why?

Sniffles: With my lab being as it is, i cant seem to remember were I put things. He he so, do you like lasagna?

Lumpy: Yeah, I do. A lot.

Sniffles: Oh, okay. Good. Yeah, good. *He puts a piece of lasagna on Lumpy's plate before putting some on his own* I'm glad someone like you is here. *He stammers* So all this food wont go to waste, of course!

Lumpy: For someone who is supposed to be well spoken, you are tripping over your words a lot.

Sniffles: Well, I usually don't talk with people because of my busy schedule.

Lumpy: Heh, I usually don't talk much at all, at least, not logically.

Sniffles: I wish I could be more like you, not a care in the world, but I guess being a workaholic is what I'm good at.

Lumpy: Oh, I have cares, but I . . . have memory problems so I forget them a lot.

Sniffles: *Looking up from eating, fetching something from a drawer and sliding it over* I have some memory pills if you'd like.

Lumpy: *Pushing them back* Sounds nice, but I thought forgetting about your worries and cares was supposed to be good for you?

Sniffles: it is *He looks at the pills, eyes narrowing at them* I should stop taking these then.

 

Lumpy: Sure, if you remember EVERY problem, you'll never have enough time to remember the solutions, the negative is more memorable than the good, or so I've heard.

Sniffles: So you've heard. *Looks at his plate, awed by that wisdom, looking up he watches Lumpy eat like a feral animal would. Sniffles can only stare in respectful silence*


End file.
